How to keep the romance alive in a long-term relationship

Maintaining romance in a long-term relationship can sometimes feel challenging as the demands of daily life take over. However, keeping the spark alive is both achievable and rewarding. Here are some expert-backed tips to help you nurture your relationship and keep it vibrant and romantic.

Prioritize Communication

Make Time for Meaningful Conversations

Open and honest communication is the cornerstone of any strong relationship. It’s essential to go beyond the surface-level exchanges and engage in meaningful conversations with your partner. Set aside dedicated time each day to talk about your thoughts, feelings, and aspirations. Psychologist Dr. John Gottman, known for his work on marital stability, emphasizes the importance of having regular “stress-reducing conversations” where partners can vent about their day without receiving advice or criticism, just empathy and understanding.

Practice Active Listening

Active listening involves more than just hearing what your partner is saying; it requires truly understanding and engaging with their words. Show genuine interest in their stories and concerns by asking follow-up questions and reflecting on their feelings. This practice not only fosters connection but also demonstrates that you value and respect each other’s perspectives.

Keep the Romance Alive with Small Gestures

Surprise Each Other

Small surprises can make a big difference in keeping the romance alive. Unexpected acts of kindness, such as leaving a sweet note in your partner’s bag or preparing their favorite meal, can create moments of joy and appreciation. These gestures remind your partner that they are loved and cherished.

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Plan Regular Date Nights

Scheduling regular date nights helps break the monotony of everyday life and allows you to focus solely on each other. Whether it’s a fancy dinner out, a cozy movie night at home, or a fun activity like bowling, these special outings provide an opportunity to reconnect and create new memories together. Dr. Terri Orbuch, a psychologist and author known as “The Love Doctor,” recommends having a “date night ritual” where couples can enjoy each other’s company and strengthen their emotional bond.

Cultivate Intimacy

Express Affection Daily

Physical touch is a powerful way to maintain intimacy in a long-term relationship. Simple gestures like holding hands, hugging, or kissing can reinforce your emotional connection and keep the romance alive. Make it a habit to express affection daily, whether it’s through a gentle touch or a warm embrace.

Explore New Activities Together

Trying new activities together can reignite the spark in your relationship. Engage in experiences that are novel and exciting, such as taking a dance class, going hiking, or learning a new hobby. These shared adventures create a sense of novelty and excitement, reminiscent of the early days of your relationship.

Maintain Individual Interests

Encourage Personal Growth

While it’s important to nurture your relationship, maintaining individual interests and hobbies is equally crucial. Encouraging each other’s personal growth fosters a sense of independence and self-fulfillment, which can positively impact your partnership. According to relationship expert Dr. Sue Johnson, supporting each other’s goals and aspirations helps strengthen the emotional bond and keeps the relationship dynamic.

Balance Togetherness and Independence

Finding the right balance between togetherness and independence is key to a healthy long-term relationship. Allow each other space to pursue personal interests while also prioritizing quality time together. This balance ensures that you both feel valued as individuals and as partners.

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Practice Gratitude and Appreciation

Acknowledge Each Other’s Efforts

Expressing gratitude for your partner’s efforts, both big and small, fosters a positive atmosphere in the relationship. Take time to acknowledge and appreciate the things they do for you and the relationship. Regularly expressing gratitude can boost your partner’s morale and reinforce your emotional connection.

Celebrate Milestones and Achievements

Celebrating milestones and achievements, whether personal or shared, is a wonderful way to keep the romance alive. Recognize each other’s accomplishments and make an effort to celebrate them together. These celebrations, whether it’s a promotion at work or an anniversary, serve as reminders of your shared journey and accomplishments.


By prioritizing communication, keeping romance alive with small gestures, cultivating intimacy, maintaining individual interests, and practicing gratitude, you can nurture a fulfilling and passionate long-term relationship. These expert-backed strategies provide a foundation for deepening your connection and creating a relationship that stands the test of time.

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